I look back at years gone by, then months, then begrudgingly; weeks. And then, when I feel I have overcome the weeks, I look at days gone by. I don’t want to think that things have gradually deteriorated, that life could be better. I don’t want to have any regrets. Life is too short to be wasted on regrets….

I want to believe that today is better than yesterday.

That it brings with it more promise, more hope.

That the war in the North will end today.

I want to believe that the kid with the hole in his heart will receive the money he needs for that operation.

I need to be convinced that that adult will think twice before having his way with that 4 year old.

Why do I think I’m dumb for believing that this time round when funds are released to fight poverty, to fight the spread of diseases, people will have some money, that people will be healthy?

Today (s)he will take the wrap for something (s)he had no control over, something (s)he couldn’t have prevented. Today (s)he may lose her/his job. Yesterday was okay. Yesterday, (s)he went home tired, but hoping for a better day.

Today, a son will be lost, a brother, a father…a nephew, a cousin….it all looked good yesterday. There was no drunk driver yesterday. There was no burglary yesterday. There was no jilted lover, no malicious friend…no jealous person scheming…

Today, for no reason at all, a heart will be broken. It will mend eventually, but that won’t be happening today…

Today… today we will be judged on the basis of what a stack of papers say we are. We shall be weighed on a scale on whose opposite end will be transcripts, degrees, diplomas that shouldn’t really tell us much, but somehow they do, because being successful on the basis of one’s ability, the basis of what you can do and are good at, is so yesterday…

Today, more disappointment will rear its head. It didn’t look like that yesterday, but guess what, that day is gone; this one is still here…

Is it too much to ask that happiness sticks around for a bit? That it lasts. That with each passing day you don’t reach out for a yesterday? But open your eyes and smile knowing that today brings with it the promise of more… guess we do have to wait for tomorrow sometimes.

Today we will attempt to hold on to a shred of hope that everything will be okay. That after all is said and done a lot more will be done and not said. That promises will be kept, that the line that divides actions from words will fade. That when the words, “It will be okay” are uttered, it is actually going to be okay.

…uncalled and unasked for, the memory of yesterday beckons glowing bright and because today looks bleak and dull, I hold my hands out with the hope that somewhere out there, I will find a brighter tomorrow…