Its not you, its me…

Ever get the feeling that people leave the moment you get attached? Case in point, Meryl. This chic was MADNESS made manifest and she was just “wrong”. What the heck was there not to like? Then she got booted through no fault of hers. Then came Bertha. Yes,she of the hair with an affinity for gravity. Everything was going well until a few weeks ago, then she too left. Then I declared with the commitment of a university student in a relationship that I was crazy about Maureen and now see what’s happening.
What I’m trying to say is, if Maureen does come home this week, its not her fault. Its mine. To quote Akon (the real one), you can put the blame on me!
To be fair, its not entirely my fault. Africans generally don’t like people that don’t make sense or talk to themselves. In the western world they’d probably make a movie out of it and the actress playing Moli (say Charlize Theron under layers of shoe polish) would win an Oscar. Here? No such luck, you speak to yourself and you’re a certified loony…and you’re disliked by Africa…
Which is hypocritical when you consider the fact that Mama Awful from Nigeria has resorted to crying and stuff in a bid to win votes. And its working for her…

Two become one…

In other news, Dutty Dreads and Squirrel of Angola made the beast with two backs. Its about time, really. It’s like watching a soap knowing that Hariz Pilton will end up with the Jik mugger, but all sorts of obstacles keep getting in the way. Like wicked stepsisters and consciences. From my travels around the world wide web, I present this little tidbit; Richard is so getting served! With divorce papers! From his wife! The one he cheated on. This is all happening when he leaves the house at the end of the show. If luck is on his side he will win the money and his wife back. Nothing says “I’m sorry” like $100,000.
Speaking of better halves, Code’s other didn’t seem to miffed by his antics in the house. Unless of course that hug she gave him on his eviction night was the infamous Russian stranglehold coupled with a kick in the gut from the baby she was carrying.

Fear is not a factor when you’re ripping off another show’s ideas…

What do you call a show that runs out of ideas and starts to borrow other shows ideas? Big Brother. This week we were treated to FEAR FACTOR: Big Brother Edition. I have a theory. It may seem a little far fetched, but I think Biggie stopped trying. If I wanted a show with icebased activities I’d watch pingu. I don’t watch anything from Nollywood so I think it’s a llittle unfair for Big Brother to make me sit through Awful-nekka’s foot and ice victory.
And it was a no brainer that the Angolan Squirrel would wine the goat smoothee drinking competition, I mean, that chic can take anything that’s dished out to her. Take a minute and read that again and appreciate the innuendo I have tried to slip in…twice.

Moving on…

Because seeing a bunch of people put on an act is not enough, Biggie tasked the housemates with putting on a production. Tatiana said that comedy comes naturally to her…that’s funny… did I mention she and Richard had sex? For real!
The movie was set in Mexico where Tatiana (one of Biggie’s Angels) meets Sylvester and has her way with him. Not too different from the usual happenings in the house, but wait, there’s more. Then she puts him to sleep (still not to different from the usual) and then her cohorts strip Sylvester bare and discover he is the bomb…sorry, he is there to plant a bomb…( so he ain’t a Ganja planter after all?).. anyway, I’m sure this thing will be on DVD some time, so I won’t get into it. Biggie was impressed by the housemates display and showered them with drinks and eats… I guess it doesn’t take too much to impress this dude.

And the beef goes on…

I don’t even know if it counts seeing as she may be leaving the house this weekend, but hey, I have a word limit. Maureen was convinced that Tatiana and Ofunneka were plotting her demise. Funny what people will do to earn a quick $100,000, eh? The problem was Maureen’s imaginary friend Mo’lean, convinced Mau that when Tatiana and Ofu were discussing Richard, its her that was the topic. That’s a bit of an ego she’s carrying around. Seriously, I am not unpatriotic or anything, I am as ready for CHOGM as the next dude, but Mau’s got something coming. She is not exactly conversation fodder. She figures the animosity between her and Ofu was resolved after a lengthy discussion, but Ofu still doesn’t trust her.

Is that a mole in your house, or are just happy to see me…

Big brother is mixing it up with fake housemates… well, okay, not fake as in not real, but people that will not win the $100,000 even if they managed to solve the mobile phone extra promotion crisis in Uganda… or something like that. Ideally, their personalities should clash with at least two of the housemates thus exposing the nasty sides to the public and helping us vote wisely…If Maureen stays in there I can see this backfiring and the “Moles” (for that is what they are called) begging to be let out of the house… I wonder, can they place that on their Curriculum Vitae under achievements?
“I won first prize at the country fair… and I was a MOLE!”

Where I usually go wrong…Predictions

I haven’t done these in a while, and my life was better for it, but seeing as it’s the last eviction show, why not…
In an ideal world, free of wars, floods, and congestion on the information highway, Ofu would be out of there faster than you can say, “Oga”.
In other news, Ofu showed Africa her raunchy side… and it was not a pretty sex kitten called foofoo. I like the name foofoo. Its pretty. I wonder if I can get the Mrs. in on this pet name thing… anyway, seeing as I didn’t get to see how things went down (Hangover!!) you can pick up on the fishy behaviour here