skirting on petty issues

It’s old news. Nsaba Buturo has gone and opened his trap yet again. This time round, because he realised he’d simply be repeating himself ( and thereby boring himself as well) he avoided Big Brother and went after short skirts.  click dis!    and dis one coz its new
I am not one to claim that I know the inner workings of parliament, but don’t we usually send these guys in to represent us. To discuss issues that really really count. I mean, come on, miniskirts?? 
The vibe I’m picking up here is that this dude was bullied as a kid and he views this as an opportunity for payback. 
I seriously wanted to go into the whole Big Brother issue, but I can’t see what his angle there is/was. “I never got to hang out with the cool kids, I won’t let Uganda see others” ? That’s a possible angle. But the thing is, the last lot of contestants were not the cool kids. Well, not entirely.
According to the web,
“Minister Nsaba Buturo told journalists in the capital Kampala that wearing a miniskirt was like walking naked in the streets.”
I beg to differ Mr. Minister. Walking Naked is like WALKING NAKED in the streets, wearing a miniskirt is nothing like that. Not even the kind that are as thick as a belt, or a handkerchief. We have seen naked people walk around the streets and I assure you, seeing someone in a miniskirt is tonnes better and does not really provoke a gag reflex. It may provoke an entirely different reflex, but shit. It IS NOT LIKE WALKING NAKED!!
“You can cause an accident because some of our people are weak mentally.”
Dude! I know as the minister of Ethics and such you are supposed to be the custodian of all things sacred and pure, but don’t bloody make generalisations like that. “Some of our people”…”Our people”? WTF? We had to deal with the whole Amin thing, now you’re giving us that? 
A guy logs into a chat room and introduces himself…
-” I’m from Uganda and I am hot for you, I wanna slide my”
-“Hang on… Uganda? I’ve heard about you. Sorry sweetie, I don’t think you can handle this jelly. I’m way too bootylicious for you.”
-“But…”
-“I know your type, you’re weak mentally.  Bye sugar” 
– “Shit! That’s the 6th one this week.  I will never be able to get a visa! Damn You Nsaba Buturo”
“If you find a naked person you begin to concentrate on the make-up of that person and yet you are driving.”
Okay, that’s all kinds of wrong. If I found a naked person, the last thing I’d be concentrating on is the make up. No matter what kind of eye-liner or masacara or whatever she’s got. Even if it was Beyonce’s Bleaching Cream… unless of course you meant to say concentrating on the “anatomy”…and even then, I really doubt anyone that found a naked person would find this person whilst behind the wheel of a car.  I mean, dayummm that’s some friggin ambition right there. 
But let’s compromise. How about this, if a person is driving and chances upon a naked being, let him drive to the side of the road, park and kill the engine and then “concentrate on the make up of the person” that is naked at the time. Naked people do not last forever. So, after said naked person has left the line of vision of the driver, he can get into his car and drive away. Thus, no accidents. 
“These days you hardly know who is a mother from a daughter, they are all naked”
I wasn’t going to say this, but, Sir…are you married? Do you have kids?… are you trying to tell us something?
Would I be right to say that some of our politicians are weak mentally? That they cause accidents by not debating the issues that matter… that these days you hardly know a kid from a minister of ethics  
How many accidents are caused by drivers fighting to switch off the car radio when Nsaba speaks?
Should they ban him?

In closing, conversation between colleagues 

-Nothing onscreen has more getting laid than sex and the city

-Clearly you don’t know about porn

 

13 Comments

  1. Princess September 24, 2008 at 4:34 am

    I is first? 🙂
    LOL, Ivan. Buturo was just testing the limits of Ugandans’ humour, right??
    _-_Buturo would not know humour if it jumped him in the middle of the day, gave him a massive beating and accidentally dropped its I.D on him as it stomped its foot on him.

  2. 31337 [E] September 24, 2008 at 5:25 am

    promptly!
    then that at the end the sexual puns, i resist. unsuccessfully. brb.
    -_-resistance is futile!!

  3. spartakuss September 24, 2008 at 6:41 am

    actually twerp it was “clearly you dont watch porn”
    to which the prompt reply was “i do.”
    *gulp*
    “its just not TV”
    brilliant deliver. my question is, why do our parliamentarians say such things? they don’t even drive their own cars. i feel that Nsaba is like socially crippled by the continuously banal and nonsensical things he says time after time. how can one man say so many wrong things? Is it even humanly possible to say them all without help at all?
    _-_ As is always the case with all matters porn related, my memory is fuzzy

  4. Mudamuli September 24, 2008 at 11:37 am

    ‘How many accidents are caused by drivers fighting to switch off the car radio when Nsaba speaks?’
    Many I would imagine.
    But in reality radio (read Ugandan FM stations), you’d be surprised at how many Ugandans agree to his mini-skirt theory.
    _-_ Those ones just have nugu, see comment below.

  5. Carlo September 24, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Me I agree with Nsaba Buturo. Some people should not wear mini skirts. So because our legs are just not ‘bootylicious’ enough to show off, we’ll sit back and cheer and watch as those evil great-leg-showing-mini-wearing beauties also cover up. Yay! Go Minister, go minister, it’s ya birfday . . .
    _-_ hater! So that’s how it’s going to be, eh, Carlo?

  6. Mr.B2B... September 24, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Dope piece dude..
    last time you ranted…
    _-_…and that’s what I say when I see a miniskirt… the “piece” bit 🙂

  7. the antipop September 24, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    chuckles
    jus’ kiddin
    but seriously, i am chuckling
    *chuckles to self as she runs for cover*
    _-_ Traitor!

  8. Princess September 24, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    @ antipop: ‘chuckles’ is a very b2b expression.
    -_- Yes. It is, wama you tell her

  9. the antipop September 25, 2008 at 6:50 am

    @princess, exactly!
    have you seen how he has emasculated me with the whole Auntie-pop thing? i will chuckle until he stops. this is war!
    *chuckles to self as she gets back to work*
    _-_ Quite the chuckler, ain’t ya?

  10. petesmama September 25, 2008 at 8:18 am

    Ivan, Ivan. You will kill some of us.
    _-_ awwww hell naw!

  11. Sleek September 25, 2008 at 10:59 am

    you guy you have taken punning to a whole new level…’skirting’ on ‘petty’ issues..nice….“Shit! That’s the 6th one this week. I will never be able to get a visa!”..sounds like you took your research for this piece personal..don’t lose hope yang man…as shaka zulu would say, “kip hope alive”
    _-_ See where that got him

  12. DeTamble September 30, 2008 at 4:15 am

    You need to stop being so hilarious, one day I’m actually going to laugh myself to death here!!

  13. phoebe October 8, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Great one this one. about television lay-overs, some body mentioned Rome. their actual words were kimansulo…i guess that beats tv porn Sex $ the city

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