Bertha is out! I hope you lot are pleased with yourselves. Would it have been too much to vote the Faux-Akon out? I mean, dude’s got fewer letters in his name that would have been a shorter text to send. Really, Africa!
The above rant brought to you in part, by RAGE! That hot stuff that bubbles to the surface and conveys emotion!
Incidentally, a ticket to Bertha’s eviction party cost Z$ 3 million. Not adjusting for currency conversions and inflation, spending on Jackie Bauer is costlier than what she stood to win.
In a show of originality (or lack thereof) Biggie invited fans to submit ideas for tasks to be performed by the housemates. I tell you, this is the laziest Big Brother yet. He takes holidays, needs to be babied and he won’t come up with his own ideas… this is Kid Brother!! Anyway, the winning suggestion was that the housemates stage a phony broadcast.
I usually get the feeling that Jam Agenda presenters are looking at me (well, not Charles, he usually glances at the ceiling) when they are doing their thing and it sorta scares the shiznit out of me… I can deal with Kampala’s security camera’s following me, but the idea that the Angolan Squirrel is checking me out?
So anyway, BBTV, for that’s what they called it, claimed that it was in the business of,” Putting the Shizniz into the Bizniz of Entertainment”. I suppose everytime they attach the “iz-niz” suffix in their vocabulary, a little child has one dream come true. And I think Biggie is that Little Chiz-nit.
The housemates were not allowed to use real-life brand names. WHAT? Not even MTN? I thought it was everywhere you GO, even inside the house. Guess I was wrong. Note to the Yello Brand, you may want to invest a little “Extra”.
This condition birthed the brand “Fabioso” a love potion so potent it will make you go nuts for furry little tree dwellers…in Angola.
BBTV would also have a talk show complete with gossip, performances, give-aways and all sorts of juicy elements… long story short, another day in the Big Brother house.
Here’s a checklist;
Gossip
This is not new and we have seen that provided by practically all of the housemates.
Give-aways
These too have been seen in the penthouse.
Performances
See “Give aways” above.
The Juicy Elements left with Meryl so we are kind of short changed here.
In other news…
Dutty is a shadow of his old self and has been having spats with his little woodland creature of Angolan origin. This has not gone down with many a viewer and has had them baying for his locks, er, his blood.
One tiff was sponsored by Maureen when she claimed she saw the, er, “Gazunga” while Dutty was showering. This did not go down well with the Squirrel who believed that such a display is childish. Heck, I think that calling anything a Gazunga is asinine, but you don’t see me fighting. Is that a rodent thing? Anyway, she proceeded to say that she was not going to speak to Dutty unless he said please. (shya!). Dutty echoed a sentiment shared by many a viewer by stating that he was, “tired of this sh*t”.
Not to be outdone, the MauDe-Squad also had their doubts as to where things where going with Code saying there were things happening on the inside that probably wouldn’t happen on the outside. Like, er, naming anatomy in pre-school gibberish?
And because I have seemingly neglected Awful-nekka in the past, here’s a line on her. She was hurt in the past by the love of her life and she almost committed suicide. I think this is all strategy. Maureen made it this far after her shocking high school confession, and Bertha hated her for her scheming brilliance and now “mama-Awfoo” is trying to pull one on us.
The penthouse visit took on a change when Biggie decided to have all the male housemates go in there and have a good time. Isn’t that… wrong?
For the life of me I can’t tell whether its going to be Faux-Akon or Dutty Dreads living this week. I want it to be Kwaku, but Richard is just being a dick.