A lot of people ask me how much the work environment is going to change in the new normal… well, I figure a lot of people would ask me if they were not social distancing and trying to use their phone credit sparingly. 

Here’s what I imagine….

While we are not too crazy about working from home, we are slowly going to embrace it more and more. 

Now that you’ve shown that you can be productive outside the four or so walls that constitute your office space, you will be bolder about walking over to our line managers and declaring that you’re carrying work home. 

The Line Manager will probably acquiesce, not because you’re such a badass, but because you will deliver. 

For one thing, you won’t be too crazy about falling on the wrong side of a cost-cutting discussion (I’m told the experts call this having a poor risk appetite);

– Why him? Because he picks his nose and doesn’t deliver work when he says he will. But mostly the thing about work delivery.        

Also, your little well of excuses has run dry by now. Face it, you’ve managed to work with a spiteful laptop battery, sneaking in some time to wrestle the same computer away from your 1 year old trying to compose his magnum opus…a neighbourhood blackout is just a lazy excuse. 

Office interactions will be relegated to “absolutely necessary” status, and you will second guess yourself every so often wondering whether the meeting that’s been proposed is absolutely necessary… or the hug you’d give your co-worker because you’re too cheap to go buy a more meaningful gift. You’ll probably consider sending money to them by phone, but the lack of anonymity that presents will have you questioning just how much is ‘enough’.

You will regard your colleagues with the suspicion you’ll think they deserve, not knowing who they have interacted with in days past. Handshakes, fist bumps and playful nudges will be kept to a minimum, but on a more positive note, this will serve as the inspiration for your “Post-COVID” era book, “How to Human Again; Physical Contact for Dummies”.

People will say you’ve lost your sense of humour and that you’re not as funny as you used to be in 2019/2020 BC (Before Corona). And you will die a little inside because the truth is you won’t want to risk sharing germs by laughing too hard. It will kill you not being able to tell people, “I don’t laugh, that you may live”.

You will finally invest in your own office kitchen paraphernalia, noticing for the first time that Susan’s cup has a dodgy looking crack and Philip’s mug desperately needs to be donated to the museum. 

Your biggest challenge will be finding something unique so that you don’t walk into the office and find Meredith from accounting clutching it and offering a weak, “It looked like mine,” knowing full the only thing your limited edition Game of Thrones flask has with her pink Spice Girls’ container is that they are both reminders of how far you’ve come.

Washroom visits will be kept to a minimum because of that previously mentioned paranoia, but that will do nothing to save your employer the expense incurred by purchasing handwash every other day. Yes, washing hands is still going to be a thing, and you will do it with such commitment, it might as well be baked into your wedding vows – you might toy with the idea of carrying some home.

You will also rethink those after-work drinks with your workmates.

This will be in part due to your new-found appreciation for your bedroom and all that’s in it – look, we have curtains, but also because things will change considerably when it comes to hanging out.

But that’s a story for another day.

Credits: Post photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash