It’s Big Brother All-Stars. Contestants from the previous editions return to the house for another season will number five be lucky? I favour the number seven but I’d hate to have to sit through two or three more editions of Africa’s biggest reality show just to prove a point.

Let’s just hope that season five is the show’s swansong. Don’t get me wrong, Africa loves it, so it makes sense that we should get more… it’s kind of like crack in that sense. You know its wack, but your cousin digs it so you can’t say jack.

It’s been suggested that this show is going to be something of a game changer and I can’t wait to see how this plays out. Let me think; will it feature contestants competing for a cash prize?

Er, yes. Will they come from 14 different countries? Well, yeah… will it be hosted by South Africa? Erm… So it’s not much of a change is it? Hang on, there’s a twist; there will be no insufferable Vuvuzelas!

Plus (and I think this is the part we are supposed to be hella excited over) it will feature contestants from previous editions of Big Brother Africa.

Exciting stuff that, I can barely type and that has nothing to do with the fact that my hand is busy slapping my forehead eliciting a thought process that climaxes in the realisation that there was a reasonable explanation behind the lack of build up to this moment.

So, 14 housesmates from our past… that should be interesting, right? It sort of depends on how you look at it. If the previous editions were won by the most entertaining housemates, then what are we being offered?

It’s sort of like walking into a restaurant and having the waitress roll her eyes at you and say, “the good stuff is finished and is off spending it’s prize money, but we have the mawolu.”

If you’re hungry, you’ll take it, but as you chew it, there’s no running away from the realisation that you’ve been handed the leftovers. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing.

I for one dig frozen pizza, so I can’t wait to see who DSTv (and by extension M-net) is pulling out of refrigeration for our viewing pleasure.

We know there’s definitely a Ugandan in there and seeing as none of our representatives has ever won, any of them could be thrown back in there. Question is, who truly deserves a second chance?

Gae has moved on and done well for himself. Maureen got married, Morris is doing well as model and we haven’t heard much about Phil and Hannington.

So, if we were to in fact give someone another chance, I reckon it would be down to Phil, Hannington and Morris, not because there’s anything wrong with being a model (I respect that) but rather because we expected him to publish a dictionary when he left the house. There’s just so much untapped potential there.

Will we benefit from the spirit of camaraderie that the East African Community is trying to instill in us or will Kenyans, Tanzanians and Ugandans conspire against each other? Speaking of which, am I the only one that thinks Tanzania’s hot cake will be coming back?

It was mentioned earlier that the money that would have been used during the recruitment drive was channeled into “recreating the house in a very different way and focusing on putting new technology into place”. What does this all mean?

The web is ablaze with the suggestion that the shower hour may be back which would lead us to believe that it was always on the cards but the technology at the time just couldn’t permit us to watch people bathe. You’ve got to be grateful for waterproof video cameras.

Last year’s host is back and hopefully this is one of those second time lucky situations. A lot of people didn’t feel a connection with IK last season, but if we are willing to give the show the benefit of doubt there’s really no reason he shouldn’t be granted some sort of reprieve.

Unless of course he decides to wear another leather jacket. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see how they are going to introduce the characters this time around, I can’t be bothered to speculate over Big Brother’s persona this time around, it can be a child with Tourette’s syndrome for all I care.

However, if the show opens with a splash of paint and people in military fatigue, I may have to claim a refund.

Quick recap. We’ve got contestants from previous shows coming back.
Sean Paul is going to perform and there will be (with any luck) no Vuvuzelas. It starts tonight on DSTv.