You get the feeling, as you grow older, that something will change, that you can look back and feel a certain sense of accomplishment. It doesn’t always work that way. Yes, I can take a walk down memory lane and reminisce and feel pretty good about the year gone by…but I find that it is temporary, short term even.
I can opt to be a negative ned about the whole thing or be cheerful and live life as it comes to me. From where I’m standing, that’s boring. I have got some sort of new resolve though.
I’ve decided to brown nose and get done with my degree at the university for once and for all. Curiously the decision has not come to me out of that chat we had, Dennis. I’m way too big headed to really give a shit about books. I am loathe to admit it, but I feel like some sort of wimp for failing to stand my ground and say Fuck Education! And move on with my life. Its worked well for Rev, and I certainly wish I could hold the same resolve.
It certainly isn’t because I am tired of meeting relatives that feel the need to ask me when
I am graduating every two weeks. I considered, for a while, wearing a tee-shirt that had the words, “Never to Graduateâ€, but from what I gather negative thinking has never really helped anyone. The alternative would be “Sod Offâ€, but I would sooner have greater success playing monopoly with a lobotomized chimpanzee than getting the message across to onlookers. Such is life.
The truth is, I feel I owe it to my family. They’ve stuck by me through thick and thin and lord knows I have been massively big-headed (yeah, literally and figuratively. See how dissing yourself kills the moment?) and refused to follow the path that they deemed fit.
The second reason is probably the fact that it kind of bothers me that I will be at the university at the same time with my sister. This would be all hanky-dory if she were my twin, but seeing as she isn’t, that’s every shade of fucked up.
I also feel a need to get my life in order. I suppose one could say there’s shit I’ve been taking for granted… people even, and I’d love to say that’s all going to change, but I really have no control over some of these things. I want to, but I can’t,
I’ve realized this year-past that a great number of my friends are bloggers. And I would so love to get into the how we met thing, but what’s the point? Why look back when what really matters is what’s in front of you…
I have also resolved to stop jumping from job to job. It was glamorous and all and there’s a certain feeling of Organisational-immortality I picked up, but its really hard to answer potential employers when they ask you why you left your last job. From what I gather, its generally not a good enough answer to say, “just!†and then smirk. Maybe that’s what I am getting wrong, maybe if I said, “just†and started bawling and wailing that would make an impression. Maybe.
I’ve gotten tired of saying we are not ready for CHOGM. I can only go on and about a topic for so long. What do you take me for? The Red Pepper? Harry Sagara? I will say this, the visitors are obliged to say they are crazy about our country no matter what. Sure we have people on the job, guys who started planting trees last week. Not to worry, the Ugandan variety of tree is the quick growing kind. We should see some sort of progress some time next year. While the visitors are here, we shall be encouraged to refer to them as “baby treesâ€. It will be politically incorrect to refer to them as “littleâ€.
I am done bitching about the state of the country and people Caught Hoarding Our Global fund Money. I mean, when you think about it, who would be any different if they were placed in the same situation. I mean, with that kind of money, you would be able to send your kids to the best schools, have yourself a set of wheels that can withstand pot-holes, nay, create them… and you could just as easily build a house that could rock you to sleep and change your shoes and avail state of the art entertainment that would mysteriously block images of suffering sick country mates. “ Seriously, if I’d known there were people in need of the money, I wouldn’t have taken that much…but as it is, my TV doesn’t broadcast Ugandan suffering. Just CNN… the American one.â€
Incidentally, if all goes well (read; cheque maturity and goodwill) I should have the costume drink up thingy over the weekend. I have three potential venues, so I can’t confirm anything just yet.
I want to be able to look back and feel that I have accomplished something, anything. So here I am once more, the path of life, presented with a fork in the road. I look at it and make my first step wondering whether I really want to take the path that goes straight ahead or veer off somewhat and see… Time will tell.
Sigh.
Good luck.
“From what I gather, its generally not a good enough answer to say, “just!†and then smirk.”
This line just made it for me…
Way to go!! Rather painful isnt it, but it seems we have to grow up at a certain point.
Only don’t go and become some crusty old man at the ripe old age of 24! Life can still be fun so long as you know and keep your eyes on the goals you have decided to attain.
I mean we who passed 24 are still here, aren’t we?
I insist, please do another post on CHOGM! Plllllzzzzz!! or Kabuti! or Sula’s rolexes!! or … whatever!!!!!!!
You should read one of Charles Dickens’ books! It will teach you a thing or two about meandering yet keeping focus at the same time!
There is one of his books i forget the title of,Chuzzlesomething’s something. Let me go check it out at home. I recommend it to you at this point. Its a good read on meandering!!
Dude, a T that says ‘I am Stupid from Hanging with Stupid’ would completely like so totally rock in a cool way. But then you are going to have a graduation party and this is what I intend to send as a present. And seriously dude, why do you listen to me? See what happened when I opened my gob?
Chuzzlewit’s Adventures
Dear Leader! New blog header iko friggin’ hot!
Maybe the way you’re letting your folks down is by actually doing something that we are all told to do mainly because we’ve been sufficiently brain-washed into spending our best years in its emptiness than because it is necessary.
`Education is life’. Yeah. But `School’ is has fewer letters than `Education’. They aren’t the same. See Wikipedia, if you think I’m kidding you. Or Google, for that matter.
I really wanted to do it for my Ma, but … fuck that. I chose to hurt her now so as to make her happy later, rather than to go with the whole thoughtless flow of the unwashed masses and make her sad over my wasted years. You get? It’s hard. I’m stil deciphering it, too. 😀
Fork in the road? tunr left. It’s always the right direction. 😉
And congratulations on getting to that point in life. I know its not as dreary as you make it sound, even if i have not felt it before. I see my peoples going thru it, smiling even.
u have a neat posse here to guide you, it seems. see how priceless Rev’s gems can be!
I totally agree with you on the big head. You have become a better writer with the years.
I would like to see a continuation of the topic
I feel uncomfortable with my nose, I feel shy to mingle in group I got a cure for the same with non-surgical nose, now I feel comfortable. job done. Good post to go… Thanks guys!